5 important life lessons to make you more successful

5 important life lessons to make you mora successful5 important life lessons to make you more successfulI wish Id been smarter in my teens and early twenties. Like many others, I thought I knew what was best for myself, but I wasnt seasoned enough to understand how life lessons are gifts that keep coming- until we die.In my younger years, I didnt characterize many of my life lessons as gifts. They looked more like trials and tribulations. Its taken a while for me to understand that those same trials and tribulations created my destiny they created parteie I became over the years.Life is a process we rise up and fall down we succeed and we fail. But these experiences hold important lessons for us- ones we need to learn if we hope to be a success in business and life.Here are 5 important life lessons to make you more successfulLife Lesson 1 Define Good ValuesToo often, success is measured only in terms of money or personal power. We all know people who became famous or made lots of mon ey but failed miserably at being a good person because they didnt take the time to define good values for themselves.To become a successful human being, we need to mature physically, emotionally, socially, cognitively, spiritually, and morally. For many, the development of ethics and values is something that happens with little or no conscious thought. As a result, their life revolves around crappy values like the pursuit of pleasure, possession of material things, and a narcissistic me first mentality.Despite what the media tells you, pleasure wont create life satisfaction. If you measure yur success by material things and elend your behavior, youre a shallow person. As far as narcissism goes- if others think youre God, thats OK but if you think you are, that makes you a jerk.Humans were created forwholeness. We yearn to live a whole life, one of purpose and value. At our core, we are driven by a desire to be closer to people, to be part of meaningful conversations and community. P leasure, material things, and selfishness are nothing but empty highs.Bad values are destructive and fractious. You have no control over them, which makes your life satisfaction dependent on the whim of others. Instead, nail down good values then pleasure, material things, and success will emerge from them. Good values happen on the inside, in that place that has no shape but gives us meaning and yearns for good.How To Make It Work For You Values are personal choices you make about whats important to you. Here are some questions that will help you identify your top values in lifeWhat are the three things you like fruchtwein about yourself? Why?Who is the happiest person you know? Why?Who are the two people you like and respect the most? Why?Who are you?Life Lesson 2 Develop Self-AwarenessWhen people ask me to talk about how they can becomementally tough, I suggest they start with self-awareness. Self-awareness is the ability to take an honest look at ourselves, without judging what we find as either good or bad. Many people dont take the time or make the effort to get to know the most important person in their life- themselves.Ignorance of your competition makes you vulnerable. Ignorance of yourself makes you stupid- LaRae QuyEverything we need can be found inside ourselves. We have the tools we need to be aware of our bodies, aware of our emotions, and aware of our relationships. We cannot become self aware by reading self-help books or articles.Instead, we need a deep understanding of our past and current self. People with painful experiences in the past often balk at reliving that part of their life. Our experiences (both good and bad) shape how we see the world, so its vital for us to understand how the world has shaped our personalities.Your narrative is the story of your life and it impacts everything you do. Once you recognize your pattern of behavior when confronted with obstacles, disappointments, and setbacks you can control your response. Self-aware ness enables you to anticipate a negative reaction and choose a behavior that will help you land on your feet when confronted by the unknown.As Woody Allen said, Its important to have some laughs, but you gotta suffer a little too because otherwise, you miss the whole point of life.How To Make It Work For You Make it a daily practice to set aside twenty minutes to reflect upon your day. Identify what experiences, people, or settings prompted an energizing joy. Why? Identify what experiences, people, or settings prompted an interior heaviness. Why?Life Lesson 3 Dont Settle For HappinessHappiness is a popular word these days but lets be honest- happiness is nothing more than a fleeting emotion. If you want to live a shallow life, then go ahead and pursue all the happiness you can possibly cram into one day. And then start over again tomorrow because the pursuit of that elusive value will keep you on the run for the rest of your life.Happiness is a bandaid for what really ails us- our need to live a life full of value and meaning (see life lesson 1). Of far more importance is to seek the things in life that bring us joy and contentment. Dont settle for anything less. Moments of happiness will automatically spring from those things that produce life satisfaction and fulfillment.To live is the rarest thing is the world. Most people exist, that is all- Oscar WildeHow To Make It Work For You Answer these questionsLife Lesson 4 The Best Lessons Usually Show Up As FailuresOne of the primary reasons we learn so much from our failures is that they get our attention. If everything purrs along at a good clip, we can become complacent. One thing FBI agents learn early in training is its not the streets or guns that will kill you, its complacency thatll lead to extinction.Failure will often persuade you to try something new, and you will keep drifting until you finally succeed at something. And that is where most of us stay- at mediocrity. Its a mediocrity that that comes fr om success without failure.Failure reminds us what we really want in life. If we experience a failure while in pursuit of an important goal, well push ourselves even harder. Well lean into our resilience to move ahead. At other times, a failure is a good time to re-evaluate our strategies and to shift gears.Warren Bennis once said, All great leaders have, without exception, experienced traumatic failure. Its as if that moment the iron entered their soul that moment created the resilience that leaders need.While many life lessons show up as a failure, success can also produce good lessons. In a recent study,Professor Adam Kepecs of the Cold Spring Harbor Laboratorysays we need to recall our victories as well. While failure gets our attention, success produces a brain chemical called dopamine which builds confidence in ourselves. Since the brains primary function is to keep us safe, the shot of dopamine reminds us that we can make clear, quick decisions in the future.Life is a wild an d crazy rollercoaster, full of ups, downs, and unexpected turns. If things are good right now, enjoy it it wont last forever.When life is going wrong, dont worry it wont last forever either.How To Make It Work For You The next time you experience failure, take a look at your goals (you have goals, right?) Review how your goals will lead you toward fulfilling your mission (you have one of those as well, right?) Maybe your goals need to be tweaked in light of new information. Plan ahead by anticipating the repercussions of another failure. Always have a Plan B and a solid action plan to help you move past a setback.Life Lesson 5 Your Attitude Is The One Thing You Can Always ControlMuch like happiness, optimism is another dud that will get you nowhere. Lots of self-help books encourage people to always look for the bright side of life and deny the negative stuff. Shit happens, theres no way to get around it. Sometimes the best thing you can do is look the beast in the face if you want to keep your sanity and move ahead.Optimism is a way to ignore many of lifes legitimate problems. It can be a way to avoid unpleasantness because optimists truly think that things will change for the better.Positive thinking, on the other hand, accepts the highs and the lows of lifes cycle. It doesnt deny the negative positive thinkers believe theyll overcome their circumstances rather than believe their circumstances will change.Our attitude impacts our thoughts, emotions, and behavior. The way we see things affects our chances of success and life fulfillment.How To Make It Work For You As you review your goals and steps forward, take a critical look at how things could go wrong. Youre not being negative youre simply pragmatic. When you examine how things might not turn out as you expect, youre better prepared for the battle. FBI agents dont prepare for arrests by assuming things will unfold as envisioned. Instead, they look at them from every angle so they can anticipate where it might go wrong. Do the same thing.Thisarticlewas originally published onLaRaeQuy.